Don’t Tolerate the Bullshit
I was taking a Soulcycle class when Ashley the instructor said “Don’t tolerate the bullshit. What you put up with tells others exactly how they can treat you.” Just when I thought the tapbacks had taken me to a new high, this quote sent my mind soaring. You know when you hear something that describes EVERYTHING that’s been going on in your heart? You know that moment when “it all just clicks” and suddenly everything starts to make sense? I had that moment this morning.
How many times in your life have you allowed someone to treat you less than the way you should have been treated?
Go ahead. Take a second.
How many times? Say that number out loud. Sit with it.
Why have you (we) allowed this to happen?
Is it because you don’t think you are worth more than that or that you don’t deserve someone’s best? Is it because you thought you’d done something to deserve it? Was it because you just thought “that’s just how they are!”?
Now think about it some more. Does any of this make it ok?
I don’t think so and this is why.
What happens when we tolerate the bullshit? We end up putting ourselves in the situation where what is best for us is sacrificed and the other person gets exactly what they want. We end up hurting from it in some shape, form, or fashion. We often end up resenting the person that’s bullshitting us and ultimately we end up not trusting ourselves and questioning our worth. It’s a frustrating, endless cycle that will recreate itself over and over until you finally say enough is enough.
I wish I had the credentials behind my name to give you all the scientific answers on how to tackle this area but the truth is I’m learning right alongside you. I’m going to share with you some commitments I’m making to myself that maybe you can tailor to your needs and find some sort of empowerment.
- Figure out the concept of “to thine own self be true”. Figure out what you really want from the situation and understand how to even get there. If you start creating unrealistic expectations of others then you might create more frustration for yourself in the future
- Don’t wait. The longer you wait to speak your mind the harder it’s going to be to get it out. This is my biggest hurdle. I keep telling myself to “think about it” and make sure that I’m not in the “wrong” before I say anything. All this does is create fear inside me that slows the whole process down. It’s ok to be wrong and you’ll learn from it but if you don’t say anything then you will just stew in it
- Once you have the words to speak and the courage to do so find a way to be kind about it. Yes, we want to speak our minds in any situation but make sure that you will be heard. I’m a guilty party of instant frustration and I think this comes from so long of not opening my mouth. I still need to find a way to give power to my words. I really don’t want it to just be a bunch of hot air
- Realize your worth and don’t settle for less. This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be patient with others but it does mean that you “don’t tolerate the bullshit”. You deserve someone’s best just as they deserve your best
Keep in mind that we promote what we permit so if we continue to allow others to hand us their half-ass abilities then we’ll never get what truly fulfills us (in a relationship/friendship). Pursue the highest form connection possible!
***Please feel free to share your thoughts or ideas in the comments? If you are reading this through a link in a post please share your comments there as well!