We’ve all been around that person that seems to find the negative in everything. Yeah, you know the person, in fact, you might be that person. If you say, “OOOO I loved that movie!”, you might hear back “yeah it was good but gosh those actors were so bad.” It could be even as simple as you joyfully singing (in your Disney princess voice) “it’s a beautiful morning” and you hear from the other room “yeah well it’s gonna be hot so bring your deodorant cause you know you sweat too much”. While this might be a great suggestion from someone that loves you, in this instance we are assuming they are just being rude!
We are bombarded with negativity every single day. If you turn on the news, glance at your FB feed, see who’s ‘gramming on Instagram, or read any magazine cover at the grocery store you quickly will see that it’s rare to find anything that just says,
(If you would like to hear a song about this then click HERE!)
If it’s not the end of the world then it’s the Facebook comment battle about who has better chicken, Popeyes or KFC (people get crazy serious about these things). You have to create a pretty filtered world if you want to find a space that negativity hasn’t crept in.
Have you ever noticed that when you think about something negative it tends to stick around a lot longer than when its something positive?
Let’s meet Sally and see if we can relate.
Sally is a 30-something year old with a great job and great family. She’s been successful at basically everything she’s tried except for losing weight. Recently though, Sally has been busting her butt and she’s lost a total of 50 pounds!
Yeah that’s right, let’s cheer for Sally!
Sally walks into work one morning feeling like Beyonce at the Super Bowl (wind blowing her hair and everything). Her fans were cheering as she runway walked to her office with someone even yelling “You look great today SALLY!” Sally was on cloud nine and felt so positive about the life she had created.
It was time for lunch so Sally went into the deli to get her usual business women’s special and she decided to splurge and get a gluten free, sugar free, basically air thin cookie. Well guess who saw her grab the cookie, that’s right, it was DEBBIE (dun dun dunnnnn).
Debbie couldn’t let it go and started running her mouth about it at the table. Sally over heard it and was crushed. She went home early because she felt so sick. She skipped her workout for the next 2 weeks because she felt so bad. She couldn’t get what Debbie said out of her mind. She’d worked so hard and felt so great about all she’d accomplished but was STUCK on Debbie’s downer.
Who wants to tell Debbie to shut her hateful mouth? (Hands up) Who can relate to how Sally felt? (Hands up) Have you ever let someones negative energy zap you from your positive platform?
Our brains are actually physiologically tilted towards holding onto the negative over the positive. It dates back to when we had to fight off lions and tigers and bears for survival (thats my science review for you). Studies have shown that when brain activity is tracked using positive and negative stimuli, negative stimuli actually causes more electrical activity. This means to create a positive spike we actually have to work harder to see things in a positive light. We actually have to train our minds to focus on the positive so our brain has the extra juice to overcome the negative.
I have some friends going through some really gnarly situations right now. From breakups, to jobs lost, to death of loved ones, they are all overwhelmed with a negative energy flow (and for good reason). It seems that it would be really easy to just get stuck in a tarpool of negativity. In fact, IT IS EASY to get stuck there because as we’ve learned our minds are already engineered to go negative first.
I’m going to share with you what I would share with any these friends on how to train your brain to see the bright side and to flex your muscles with positive focus. Here are 5 things I do to keep myself positively charged.
- Practice gratitude externally. If someone does something that positively influences your life then make sure you say THANK YOU! Even if they just open a door for you say, “Good morning! Thank you!”
- Practice gratitude internally. At the end of your day, write down at least 10 things that you are grateful for. Nothing is too silly or too crazy for this list! I often end up saying THANK YOU for the soft toilet paper I used! (You know that can go wrong yall!)
- Smile and laugh a LOT. See link for details SMILE !
- Become a health nut. Yes this means fitness and eating well. I’ll be honest, I struggle with the eating well all the time but I’m KEEPING UP WITH THE CARDIO-SHANS (couldn’t help myself). Why do you think I post about SOULCYLCE all the time!
- Find a space that’s just for you and sit in the quiet. Literally, the QUIET. Remove all distractions, check out of the world, and just be with YOU. We find so much clarity from just listening to what our body is saying to us.
Take these and find a way to incorporate them into YOUR LIFE. Find a way to remind yourself daily that life is a precious gift and that you are something of great value. Cherish the present moment and create a space for you to reflect on your life positively.
Again, THIS IS YOUR REMINDER to not get STUCK in the negative!